d a r k s i d e

w e l c o m e t o t h e m a c h i n e

11.29.2003


Oh, yeah and, uh, happy Thanksgiving, or something.
I am thankful for:
  • BASS
  • the internet
  • TOOL
  • all my hoopy friends, yes, that means you
  • love
  • not having school for 4 days
  • my family, or something
  • you know, that whole being alive thing
Yep. Happy unnecessary-turkey-mass-murder day.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 00:25     
11.27.2003
dammit
I got this audioblogger free trial thing, that lets me post a phone call to my blog in the form of an mp3. I tried to record me playing bass with it, but I kept re-recording it, because I kept messing up, or somone would interrupt me, or i would trip ove my words, and SOMEHOW I fucked it up so bad that it didn't even post one of my mistakes and I tried calling back, but it said that I had no more calls available, and dammit.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 20:30     
11.26.2003
let it burn, won't you let it burn, won't you let it burn, wontcha wontcha let it burn, gonna let it burn, wanna let it burn, let it burn
Sub in Digital Art again. So far I've listened to the last half of Blood Sugar Sex Magik, and now I'm listening to Sublime. They are both very good, but next, is SoaD, which may be the third best band EVER. If you think Toxicity is good, listen to their first album. Insanity. Jeff thinks blogging is dumb, but I'm not sure why. I think it has somethign to do with his "image is evil" theory, but I don't know. I think image isn't evil, but it's only image, no substance. I think I don't even know Jeff's theory, so I'll shut up. As for me, I have nothing against blogging (OBVIOUSLY), but there are certain expectations you should have, and others you shouldn't. Not that I know what those expectations are or anything. Oh well. This is the last day of school for 4 days. PG County go out YESTERDAY is this fair? No, it isn't. Damn. Still, 4 days, I'd sell my soul to have 4 day weekends every week. Well, no, but it sure would be cool. Fazzle, fezzle, fizzle, fozzle, fuzzle...
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:17     
11.25.2003
Argh? Yay?
My cats pee on my shoes in the night if they want to go outside. But no one lets them out. It's lose-lose, my shoes are covered in pee, and the cats are still inside. Argh. But what really sucks is when you take butter out of the fridge and it's all hard (SHUT UP, Claire), so you put it in the microwave for 15 seconds and it doesn't even get awrmer, so you put it in for 20 seconds and it liquifies, and then you spill it everywhere. Argh. If your bus doesn't come, you don't have to go to school. I wish my bus would just not come one day. But then another bus always comes to pick us up, but one that already has people to pick up, so not only are we going to school, but we are going to school in an uncomfortably full bus. Argh. I'm not going to have my bass lesson today, the guy moved it to next week. Argh. I'm single. Argh. Heh, I got Flash, a $650 program, for free off Kazaa. Yay. Katie is going to give me a burned copy of Photoshop. Yay. I am a criminal. Argh. I am smarter than almost everyone in my Programming class. Yay. Almost everyone in my Programming class is dumber than me. Argh. This conversation...is over.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:51     
11.24.2003
I should be sleeping.
So I didn't end up staying awake all night, I went to bed at like, 6 because my mom came down and convinced me that I would function better with sleep. And she was right. I went to WES yesterday for the first time in months, because it was Stone Soup day. If you don't know what Stone Soup is, you fail. Will was there, and so was Emily and her incredibly beautiful friend Eleanor (I can say this because I don't think Emily ever sees this), and Sean, and Will and I had fun making modern art with the copying machine. And afterwards Nessa came, and Sean and I tried to tackle will and draw something phallic in sharpie on his neck, but we failed. It was interesting hanging out with Nessa. We got along really well, and that pleases me, because...well, you should know why it pleases me. Hmmm, interesting little thing...when Lilian and I were going out we had this symbol thing (yes, it's dumb, this was almost 4 years ago) that was like a Z with a line on one side. So once when Nessa and I were dating, we were at my house, and Sarah said something along the lines of "You two should have a symbol like you had with Lilian." So I drew a Z on top of an N (or vice versa, don't get any funny ideas) and it looked like a box with an X in it. So, anyway that whole explanation is leading up to me telling you that on Sunday, Nessa drew that on me. What does it mean? Heheh, and since Nessa has told me personally that she reads this all the time, I know this question will be answered, just a matter of time. And if not, I don't really care anyway. At WES I talked to Nancy Marrucci, one of the coolest people over 30 ever, and she had been to a TOOL CONCERT! And she told me all about it. I can't believe we have to wait til summer just to have Maynard even working with the rest of Tool again. Damn you, APC, DAMN YOU. After WES, my dad and I saw Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. It was pretty damn good. Today was a silly day. Silly as in nothing at all happened. Somewhere there is a parallel universe where everything the parallel universe me wants happens. Alas, in this reality, very little goes my way. Damn it, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: hormones suck.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 23:41     
11.23.2003
jumped to
Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, oh, please.

That stops making sense after a while.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 23:57     

It appears Zack has found it necessary to pull another all-nighter. Oh, well. Tomorrow shold be QUITE interesting...
posted by Xaq Rothman at 04:48     
11.22.2003
Yet another cool Saturday - SCORE!
Today was a cool day. First I went to Aikido, and Mr. Cuffy had two of his judo students there, and they tought us cool throws. Then I went to band practice with Obelisk, and that was awesome. We sounded really good, mostly because I had a bass that worked. And OHHHH did it work. We are pondering trying out for the SGR Spectacular, with Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, although we have noone to sing it (I would gladly, but I can't sing and bass at the same time), and I don't quite know some parts for the bass, but whatever. If we do, I would be trying out with two bands, because Eris is probably trying out too. I'm beginning to worry about investing in two bands, because if on starts to go somewhere, I'll have to choose, and like Maynard says, it's like trying to choose which of your children you like better. Oh well. I doubt either of them will go anywhere, and I really don't care if they do anyway. I just want to play music. After band practice, I went to Cat in the Hat with Kate and Hannah R. and Sebi and someone else and Alex "spook". Heh. That movie was fucked up. I can't even describe it, you just have to see it. Agh! Then Sebi and I ran into Jay and Jimmy Lowe, and we went to Circuit City and looked at stuff and drew funny pictures on paint with the demo computers and setting them as the background. I drew a frowny face that said I HATE YOU, and I also drew the flaming eye, and under it "GO TO BEST BUY (at Jay's suggestion)." I had never really hung out with those two before. Tolerable, but not TOO pleasant. Now I'm home. Yay!
posted by Xaq Rothman at 23:59     

I think it was Lizzi, but I'm not sure. I think you memorized her Xanga. That's a bit weird, X.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 00:06     
11.21.2003
Imagine this...

...but FRETLESS and with NEW STRINGS, and you have my favorite instrument ever. YES.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 20:38     

I can't believe I did this:
WHY, oh why am I using Xanga? The world must be coming to an end, or something. I'm in programming, and almost everyone is working on a test that I finished halfway through LAST class. So for the last half hour, I've been doing....NOTHING!!! Yay! Today I am getting my amp back from Leslie's, and strings! Yay! Again! And Lizzi wins the non-existent comment-contest, because she left an interesting and affirming comment on my blog. Good FOR her. I'm going to stop this, I can't stand to betray my beloved Blogger anymore...
What's wrong with me? How could I go over to the xangaside? XANGACIDE!!! Die, xanga, DIE!!! This leads me to an interesting question:
Why do people blog?
I suppose I can only really answer for myself. I think I have this site for two reasons. First of all, I've always wanted to keep a journal, but somehow I never feel compelled to write things down, and being able to have a thing like this where I can just type everything is very good. Then there's the whole public element. It pleases me to know that there are people reading this, who come back to read this because it like, validates me somehow, makes me feel like I'm important. That's also why I'm so weirdly pressed over comments, knowing people are listening to you (er, reading) is a total ego-boost. I mean, it's not like I'd have a total psychological collapse if I knew that NO ONE reads this, but it makes me happy that people do. Another question:
Why SHOULD people blog, as in, what's the right approach to it?/Should people blog at all?
What I mean is, should I be looking at this like a journal, to keep my thoughts, or as a forum to get my thoughts out into the world? This is where that whole privacy issue comes into play. If there's something you don't want everyone knowing, you don't post it on the internet, simple as that. However...oh wait, looks like there's no however. That doesn't mean that you can't use a blog as a journal, just that you can't use a blog like a small book with a lock. If someone asks you not to read their blog, that's a different matter. While you don't really have to stop reading, if you respect the person, you will. Ok, I'm done philosophizing (it's my "phorte").

Music: I've found that it doesn't really matter to me whether or not the stuff I listen to is musically complex or the band is talented. It just has to rock. Two bands for example, the White Stripes and Eve6. It's really simple, basic stuff, but there's that passion, that sincerity that makes them rock really hard. Even Tool, really, I mean, it's better than Eve6 but there's more skill out there, but Tool is still my favorite band because they play with their whole being, and any music that does that is instantly good.

Wow, that was disparate.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:30     
11.20.2003
noise pollution
My digital art class has a substitute teacher today, so naturally we are doing all sorts of thing which if we did with Mrs. Matthews would get us killed. SUCH AS: getting on the computers before the class even starts, liberal use of the internet (not as though I don't do that anyway), and my favorite part, listening to cds using the mac CD drive and headphones. Of course, if ANY other teacher comes in, it means instant death, but oh well, that's what I get. Anyway. Like I said, everything is boring lately. I'm listening to NIN. The Left disc of The Fragile. It's ok. Not really the kind of stuff that pleases me. I REALLY liked the Downward Spiral, but this one just doesn't have enough bass. Oh, wait no, I really like this one too. Heheh. There are so many cds I want to get, but whenever I go into a place where I could buy CDs, I can never remember what I want. So I've devised a plan. Step one: get a wallet. Step two: put a list of CDs into it, so that I'm never caught off guard. Or, step one: get a wallet. Step two: get lots of money to put in it. Step three: buy EVERY CD EVER. Step four: sell the ones I don't want. Nah, too complicated. OWWW. I need some earbud headphones, these ones (the kind that has the part that goes behind your head) are not glasses-compatible. Earbuds or contacts. Contacts with fire. Muahahah. Or plain white. That would be cool. I'm just writing to write, and noone's ever gonna read this whole thing. I write so fucking much, but it's all so boring, and any attepmt to not sound boring just souns like a failed attempt to not sound boring. It's like when I keep thinking of really cool song names...now I just need lyrics. In other news, the other day I heard (read) someone use the phrase "hoopy frood" without me telling them what it means. As in, a complete stranger. If you don't already know what that phrase means, you should DEFINITELY not be reading this website. Anywho, now I'm going to read xangas. And they better give me more pleasure than this is giving you, or I shall be disappointed.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 07:57     
11.19.2003
Things are very boring lately. Except for a few things. Capture the flag, as usual remains exciting. Today, I succeeded in starting a game BEFORE the seniors got there. This was cool. For some reason we always wait for the seniors to get here to start but that makes no sense. Well, it does make sense. They are kinda the leaders, but I figure that since this is their last year here, and only like, two juniors play, and very rarely at that, that it will fall upon us sophomores to get it going next year. Which will be very cool. I tagged Chris today, and as I did, I stepped on the back of his shoe, which tore the bottom of my toe, the soft part between the pad part and my foot. Now, that sucks. One, it means shoes are mandatory for me for a while. Two, it hurts like a bitch. But it is some consolation that seniors are walking around out there with welts ion the shape of my hand. Heh. Also exciting is that next week I have my FIRST BASS LESSON! Should be definitely cool. I just hope that I have strings for my fretless by then. And my amp....
posted by Xaq Rothman at 20:01     
11.17.2003
sad things
What sucks is when your parents ban you from the computer and change your password, but you don't do your homework anyway and additionally, you sneak onto THEIR computer in their absence.

Also what sucks is that PhotoShop is $650 and Flash is $500!!! Argh!!! If anyone has a copy of either of those they could lend me, I would love them forever (I wouldn't give them large sums of money, though. Maybe 10 bucks.).

ALSO, my sister got a Razor scooter for her birthday a week ago. I wanted one YEARS ago. However, the total number of scooters belonging to this house hold is still ONE. Is this fair? No. JUSTICE. HAS. NOT. BEEN. DONE.

I hate homework.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 20:21     

Thanks to Leslie, more stuff to do instead of homework! Yay!
I AM: Jack's stupid urge to procrastinate.
I WANT: an iPod. And a donut. AND my amp back from Leslie's house. Grr.
I HAVE: your soul. You can have it back for an iPod. And a donut.
I HATE: ...period, end of sentence.
I MISS: my amp. And not having homework.
I FEAR: becoming an asshole. Tell me if I'm an asshole.
I HEAR: my sister whistling. (AGH, NO MUSIC?)
I REGRET: some stuff.
I AM NOT: ummm...female.
I DANCE: rarely.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: on the computer, dammit.
I WRITE: these words RIGHT NOW. And NOW. AGAIN.
I NEED: Luuuuuv. And a donut.
I SHOULD: do my homework. Hah.
MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND THINKS I AM: probably just as imaginary as they are.
WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU GET COMPLIMENTED FOR THE MOST:
1. capture the flag skeelz.
2. ummm...hair?
3. modesty! Hahah.
I AM EMBARRASSED WHEN: embarrassing things happen to me.
WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS: BASS

( YES OR NO )
DO YOU KEEP A DIARY: this?
DO YOU LIKE TO COOK: not really
DO YOU SET YOUR WATCH A FEW MINUTES AHEAD: my alarm clock, yeah.
DO YOU BITE YOUR FINGERNAILS: no
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: yes

( WHO IS )
THE PRETTIEST MALE YOU KNOW: uh, ME. Er, no, ummm, I pick...hah, no, me.
THE LOUDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: BRUNO
THE SEXIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: hmmm. I dunno, who cares? (As in, can't decide, worried about weird messages being sent, shutting up now.)
YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS: If you are reading this, you are probably one of them.
THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: Jeff, Bruno, Alex or Louis. Probably all an equal amount.
( WHAT IS )
YOUR MOST OVERUSED PHRASE ON IM: yeah
THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: BASS
YOUR BEST FEATURE: ummm. My inner light. No, my arms. Yeah, definitely arms.
INSIDE JOKE: GET OUUUUUUUT comes to mind. I don't like inside jokes.

( DO YOU )?
TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY: Hahah, sorry, no.
THINK YOU'VE BEEN IN LOVE: It's certainly possible...
WANT TO GET MARRIED: At the moment, no, not really.
GET MOTION SICKNESS: nope
THINK YOU'RE A HEALTH FREAK: no
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENT(S): mostly

( RANDOM-NESS )
SCREEN NAMES: zackdarat, yourheadvoices, thehivemind666, alleseh, thedarklordXack, captainXack, darksidezacky, to name a few. Oh damn, that is so totally gonna be my new screen name: to name a few.
SIGN: leo
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: brown
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: brown (not blue, sadly)
EYE COLOR: kind blueish green at the moment (it changes)
BIRTHPLACE: DC

( FAMILY )
PARENTS: give me money.
SIBLINGS: ARE EVERYWHERE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
LIVE WITH: see above + 4 cats.
FAVORITE RELATIVE: hmmm. My cousin Emily.

( FAVORITES )
NUMBER: hah, NOT 1023. 42. Yeahhhh.
COLOR: blue? Deep blue like midnight.
DAY: I don't know, but it's not Monday or Wednesday.
MONTH: May
SONG: ├ćnema. Or Lateralus. Or Schism. Or Parabol/a. I dunno, but whatever it is, it's by Tool.
FOOD: london broil and vanilla ice cream all whipped up with chocolate chips. Yes. HOLY SHIT I FORGOT PRETZELS!
SEASON: spring
SPORT: capture the flag. Which IS a sport.
DRINK: ROOT BEER
VEGGIE: corn
FRUIT: apples (green)

( PREFERENCES )
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT? that is a hard choice. I obstain.
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE? hot chocolate
MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? dark chocolate
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? chocolate

( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... )
CRIED? nope
HELPED SOMEONE? yes
BOUGHT SOMETHING? ugh, yes
GOTTEN SICK? my stomach hurt in PE
GONE TO THE MOVIES? nope
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? nope
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? probably not.
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? yeah, the last one was "s"
TALKED TO AN EX? yep
MISSED AN EX? NO! Hahah, victory.
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? well, here you are?
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? not really, no.
MISSED SOMEONE? yes
HUGGED SOMEONE? yes
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? nope
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? nope.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 19:35     
11.16.2003
Who is my brain?
posted by Xaq Rothman at 12:44     

I am posting this at 1:30AM. As such, yesterday = 11/14, today = 11/15, tomorrow = 11/16. Read on...
Yesterday was my brother's birthday party, which means LASER TAG!!! It was so cool, Shadowland is so much better than LaserSport, it even made playing with little children fun. There was this one kid who kept getting mad at me for shooting him. MAD! FOR THE SHOOTING. Really now, what did he expect. He was all like, "Hey, come on, you can't do that," and I'm like, "huh, I thought I was playing laser tag ::shoots again::" Then he got hit in the face and felt sorry for him. ANYway, so on the way there I rode with my brother's friend's dad, who is cool because he plays BASS. He told me about some cool bass players and we listened to King Crimson, a band I've heard about because of frequent comparisons to Tool, but I had never actually heard. They're good, and I think King Crimson will be my next musical project. After laser tag I went and saw Revolutions with Jeff and Carter. While watching the movie, it was like a mix of total suspense and total just UGH, this is terrible. But then leaving the theater when it was over was just "Ohhhhhhhh, godddddddddd." So disappointing. WHY, WHY DO YOU PERSIST MISTERS WACHOWSKI, WHY? Today was the "gig" with Eris. Adam couldn't come so I had to take full bass duties which wasn't really that bad, but I was looking forward to playing some Rage and Tool with him. The "gig" was silly. To get there we loaded all out stuff in to this guys minivan and crammed ourselves in the back. When we got there, we were taking the stuff in, and Katie picked up my amp (which is big) and the guy is like "Nononono, let the men take that," and I felt offended on her behalf. Out of 5 hours we were there, we played like an hour total, spent about 2 hours total just sitting around/wondering what to play next, and two hours at lunch at a Mexican restaurant. The restaurant was fun, I made lemonade and yeah. Claire came too, even though she's not technically in Eris, she played a few songs. I had never really hung out with her before, just talked online mostly, but now I have, and I have come to the conclusion that Claire is cool. I played Schism alone, cuz noone knows it but me, and we played a few other songs, including American Pie, which I had never actually played before, but the lyrics had chords on them, so I played root notes and it didn't sound too bad. So anyway, we left and went back to Leslie's house to drop stuff off so that we didn't have to carry drums to Pericles (except for Elizabeth, who couldn't come). Then I realized that I didn't want to be lugging my amp around on busses and such, so I left my amp there, a decision which is now making me sad, because playing without an amp is very unsatisfying, and I have a practice tomorrow with Obelisk, and I'm not sure if Martin's system has a place to plug my bass...oh well. We took the bus to four corners to get food, and then to Blair, except that I had nothing to do for an hour, because we went at the stage crew time, because Gannet and Leslie are both on stage crew, Katie wanted to help with stage crew, and Claire is pseudo-stage crew. So I...I dunno what I did, it' s all a very pointless blur. Anyway, Pericles was good, it wasn't As You Like It at the Kennedy Center, but I enjoyed it. Better than Revolutions, at least. Yes, this is sad. Every time I go to a play in which there act people I know, I always get this left-out-jealousy feeling. The cast and crew has this kind of family connection thing somehow, and there's nothing really like that in my life. But I never join stage crew (I would never act) because I feel like I would be doing it just for that feeling of being a part of something, and not because I want to be on stage crew. Which makes me sad and kind of hopeless. Haha, so I was away from home for 12 hours and not once did I call my parents but they weren't home either, so it was ok. This post fizzled to a weak end much like Revolutions did. Sigh...
posted by Xaq Rothman at 01:29     

my mom is weird
Benji met the bear.
The bear met Benji.
The bear was bulgy.
The bulge was Benjy.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 00:23     
11.15.2003
a brief crisis
(Disgustipated) NO ONE was "off" with ANYBODY! EVER! Did I miss my chance? YES! Yes I DID. Does this please me? NO! A A A A A A H H H H H H H H H H ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Everyone should just leave me alone and not assume and stay out of my life and love me and never EVER ignore me and only care about me because I'm so stupid I can't even RANT without someone telling me to and the bad things! And I haven't even creid for two years which is a long time not to do something that is good for you and deserves doing now and again especially when things suck. And things suck. But tomorrow they won't. But maybe later tomorrow they will. I JUST DO NOT KNOW. It changes. AGH! NEVER! NO, I'm not DONE yet. Mayber I just pretend to be happy and optimistic and all, amybe on the inside I'm this weird insecure schizoid who doesn't even SLEEP when he ought to becasue he has a band thang the next day which will take energy and starts at 12 and why even spell, anyway? People know what you mean. It's like when no amount of words can possibly describe the feeling becasue it's just so bland and dreary that everythign is grey and you don't even know if it's an e or an a but i still doesn't even matter and these run-on sentences get boring and old and repetaticve. And I'm just so BLEH that I can't even write lyrcis, there's no intensity, it's just like a deep seated existential boredom that makes you want you stay up all night putting stupid thoughts on the internet were everyone could see but noone cares. YOU!! Yes, YOU! She said no, you're not TAKING her to a movie you're going to the same movie at the same time with intent of talking to eachother some. Fool. (enter Stinkfist) And the stupid waiting didn't help either, just go FOR it and fuck the onsequences there's always a tomrrow, except when there isn't, but I have yet to experience this particular phenomenon. She loves me? She loves me not? A question, not a wish (or is it?). Hahah, everybody gets to this part and you are all just like, "wuhhhhh?". Hahah, die.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are held solely by the , and are not endorsed by the author.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 01:49     
11.11.2003
READ IT! READ IT ALL!
I think I never get comments on the really long posts because noone reads them. Why? Yesterday, I was expecting at least a "yeah that party rocked" or two but NO, you all FAIL at LIFE with CAPS. CAPS! CONSUMMATE V'S!! CONSUMMATE!!! V V V V V V You wouldn't know majesty if it hit you in the face. Well, I'll improve on your method. Ha, that reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes - "Well, I'm phasing." Great stuff. I just realized that I could do all my blogging from my first period classes, because I finish my work early in both of them, and I'm on a computer the whole time in both of them too. And my parents can't stop me from getting on the computer here. Mwahahah. The MAN can take away my account for using the internet too much, though, says Ms. McManus. She called this website cute. Cute? That doesn't offend me so much as totally confuse me. Cute? How? "Awww, look, he's angsty." Really, though this website sucks, all I do is complain about stuff and whore myself for comments. See, here I am complaining about how I complain. Er, I mean, THIS IS THE BEST PAGE IN THE UNIVERSE. Yeah. Take THAT, Maddox!!! Yeah. Again. What's really sad is that yesterday I was completely ready to accept the fact that there were AIM marketers. What's worse, the fool, or he who's ok with the existence of the fool? ... The FOOL, duh. Bill Hicks says funny things about marketers...
By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself.

No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can.

Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really, there's no rationalization for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers.

Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming.

You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, "he's doing a joke..." there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking makinations.

Machi... Whatever, you know what I mean.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart." Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing." Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags!

Quit putting a goddamn dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

"Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that."

God, I'm just caught in a fucking web.

"Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..."

How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?"

"What didya do today honey?"

"Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight." [snores]

"Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know," [snores] "Yeah, you know the mums will love it." [snores]

Sleep like fucking children, don't ya, this is your world isn't it?
I know I've said this before, but go to that website above and read the whole damn thing. Bill Hicks is fucking great. Yeah. Class is over, children, have a nice day.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:56     
11.10.2003
edit
Well, shit, it looks like the Geico person was just one of my sister's dumb friends. Die, Charlotte, die.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 21:16     

the world is DOOMED
LOOK at this shit:
GeicoAutoInsrnce (7:36:26 PM):
Hello, my name is Harold Ronalds from the Arlington branch of Gieco Auto Insurance Inc., we have you listed as a Montgomery County resident, is that true?
DarkSide Zacky (7:37:15 PM):
oh my god, AIM marketers
GeicoAutoInsrnce (7:37:50 PM):
Would you consider taking a quick survey?
DarkSide Zacky (7:38:05 PM):
i doubt i can help you, i'm 15
GeicoAutoInsrnce (7:38:32 PM):
Ok, thank you for your time
DarkSide Zacky (7:38:44 PM):
you're not really welcome
Ew. Leave me alone! IDEA: everybody IM that name (geico, not me) and warn it. Maybe we can get it to 100%! This is an important mission.

PS: Oh, wait, it's on ICQ. No warning. Fuck.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 19:46     

weekend of \/\/ () () -|-
Posting from Digital Art. This class is much like Programming in speed, but the stuff she makes us do is fun, so it's ok. I'm finished with ALL the stuff I need to do toady, but class is only half over.

Saturday was Alex and Jeff's birthday party and it was GOOD. Louis and I forced people to listen to Pink Floyd, and we watched the moon go away (this is good, because I've missed all the recent celestial happenings), and we sung RAtM and Tool at the top of our lungs, and generally hung out, and we played Mafia, and we had cake, and watched Trogdor, and Jeff attacked me with a sub (sort of), and I hurt my elbow, and Gannet said "I don't know what jism is, but I want to be full of it." (she really didn't know what it is [it's semen]), and Alex and I beat eachother up in his backyard, and when the girls left we watched Family Guy and bits of The Battle of Mexico City, and stayed up until 4:30 talking. The only way it could have been better is if Jeff and I brought our gee-tars, but niether of us did because we both though the other wouldn't want to. How cool would it have been with Jeff and I playing along to Killing in the Name with Alex yelling it as loud as he can? Very cool. But it didn't happen. It was still the best party I've had the privilige to attend, yes, better than Louis's Bar Mitzvah in 7th grade. I think it was so good mostly because I love all the people there and also because there were no weird tensions in the air. I haven't been to a party without those for TOO long. It was tasty. Alex, Jeff, Lizzi, Gannet, Sebi, Hannah, Bruno, Katie, Emily, Louis, Nora, Carter, Jacki (in no particular order), THANK YOU for an all-encompassingly froody Saturday night. You guys ROCK! \/\/ () () -|- !

On Sunday I had a band practice with Martin and Alex (Gersabeck) and this guy named Colin, and everyone was very good, and I was SO good that I broke ANOTHER string. Now none of my basses have an E string, which is the BEST ONE. So I didn't get a part in the totally AWESOME jamming that was going on, but I could play along in my head, and damn, it sounded good. Colin Let me use his guitar afterward, and I sounded out what I wanted. Like I said, It was great. \/\/ () () -|-!

Altogether, a very pleasing weekend.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:28     
11.09.2003
R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R A A A A A A H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H

My anger is NOT a gift.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 21:09     
11.07.2003
the righteous and the wicked
I agree with Kate, Lizzi is not a delinquent nor a blithering idiot. Who cares about book reports anyway?
posted by Xaq Rothman at 17:00     
11.06.2003
Yay!
The darkside has a new home: darkside.thecolorblack.org. Incidentally, this is the same guy that owned duffworld.org. Heh. None of my blogger pages are updating to there yet so stick here until the opportune moment. You'll know when.

It was wet today, so during CTF i got totally soaked in the tennis courts. My shoes squished when I walked. I just wanted to make sure that you all knew this.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 20:41     
11.05.2003
In other news...
Shagee informs me that duffworld.org, my free server, is dying at the end of the month. This presents a dilemma. Where will the darkside go? And will it remain the darkside at all? I could go back to fearthe1023, but I don't think I will. I discovered the other day that there is no darkside.net, so with the proper amount of parental persuasion, I may be able to snatch that up. Even better would be xaq.net or .com, both of which I also doubt exist. Well, we'll know by the end of the month, now, won't we?
posted by Xaq Rothman at 20:03     

I hope I'm never famous...
On Monday we had an SSTTR performance, which despite the fabulous addition of Alex Frank, was the worst yet, because I forgot more than half my lines. Then afterwards, the children came a round and asked us for autographs. AUTOGRAPHS! FROM ME! I hated it. I never thought I'd have a chance to actually find out for sure what I felt about autographs, but now I know, and I intend to never sign another autograph as long as I live. Ugh. Tuesday we had band practice, except not really because Adam didn't show up, and Gannet had to leave like, half an hour after I got there. Oh, well. Today was weird. I felt really depressed in the morning, and then everything (ARG, my mom just got home and first thing she says to me is "Put on some headphones or turn it off!" Nice to see you too, mom. Whenever I have music on she's all "MUST you inflict that upon everybody?," but when she plays music it's SACRED and NO ONE can turn it off because it's GOOD. Ew.) from like, lunch after was all shiny and nice, or at least not so depressing. I don't know why. I played one of the most painful games of capture the flag ever. First I was trying to tag Campbell, and I slipped and rolled across a bunch of little rocks. Then a bunch of people were chasing Dan and I tagged him by getting in his way and having him ram into me at full speed. Yeah, ow. And then I was going after...Magin?...and I got blocked by Josh and somehow ended up slamming to the ground and sliding about on my hip. Not that any of this matters or anything, it's half the fun. Some people write things in themselves with razors, I play Capture the Flag. Heh. Instead of 7th period today we had an assembly on respect. I'm not going to even describe it, it just sucked. Pepsi, ugh. It was paid for by Pepsi. That's all you need to know. Fortunately I was able to spend 6 and a half minutes of it immersed in ├ćnema, which I had forgotten is one of the best songs on the planet. I mean, I knew it, but I hadn't experienced it in a while. Hmmm, that sliding on my hip has produced a bruise.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 19:58     
11.04.2003
1..2...3.
Happy Birthday, JEFF!!!!!

I had a weird few days.

More later, when my computer stops being dumb.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 21:11     
11.03.2003
Hahahah, cool.
Now I'm in NSL. Maybe I will have a computer in every class today, and I can recore every waking moment of my school day. That would be cool. Alex says he wrote a song that he can't even play with a bassline to match. I'm looking forward to hearing that. Oh, crap, Ms. Anderson just said our yearbook photos are today. Oh, well, I probably wouldn't have gotten any anyway, my parents don't care, and niether do I. My only complaint is that I haven't taken a shower for an embarrassingly long time and my hair is going to blind the cameraman with it's greasy shinyness and I'm just worrying abouy his safety. Oh, well. Time to go! More next period...?
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:25     

Woohoo! Half day!
I love half days. Posting from Programming again, for no reason other than that I feel like it. This class is such a joke. I spend half my time surfing the net. Becasue all the work is so easy I finish it in half the time, while other people need TWICE the time. Arg. Except for Kenny. Kenny is smart too.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:13     
11.02.2003
i'm feeling left out
Psh, satisfaction is for suckers.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 23:00     

In recent news...
I went to the bandroom on Friday to try out on of the upright basses. VERY COOL. I played some RAtM, and I played You Lied with a BOW. Ka-RAzy. So then I went home for a while and cleaned, and got ready for HALLOWEEEEEEEN! I was enlightened, because I had a latex third eye, and I was crying zesty mint flavored tears. Will an I were very late, so although we were trick-or-treat-ing up in the Baltimore Ave. neighborhood, we weren't actually with anyone from that neighborhood. We had a WEIRD time. First of all, in the first few houses we went to, all the people were all really bitter. Like one guy says, "Here, take as much as you want, I don't want this crap anymoremuttermutter..." It was disturbing. Also, all the houses around there were FUCKING HUGE. Like, you knock on the door and someone opens the door and you see these cavernous entryways and tapestries on the wall. One house we went to, I noticed a cool end table they had, so I said, "Hey, cool table," and they say "Oh yeah, we have all sorts of great shit in here," and they invite us in and give us a tour of their house which is like a museum because they are ART COLLECTORS. Crazy. That was that house near Jequie Park with the weird fake dog in front, if you wanna check it out. I always though that dog was just a lawn decoration but no, it's ART. People kept saying "see you later" to us. That got me thinking, how many people do we say that to when we don't actually mean it? How many people do we see once, and then never see again? I'll tell you, most people you see on the street, that's it, you will never see those people again? Depressing? Yes. True? Yes, and irreversibly so, so get over it. We met up at Alex's house at 9 and hung out there for about 2 hours. Jeff said "The GOP is in the Donkey," and it was so dumb and we were so full of sugar that we couldn't stop laughing. Oh, haha, Will and I went by Nessa's house and her mom said she was at Juli's, so when we went by Juli's I asked if Nessa was there, so Juli's mom invited us in, and as we went down the stairs we saw IAN lying on the couch and Nessa sitting up very quickly and saying "Hi, what are you doing here." It was funny. And awkward. TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! Anyway, so Alex's. Bruno and Will and I went back to my house to watch Reloaded, but we fell asleep before it ended. The next day I WANTED to go rock climbing but my mom made me stay home because she wanted me to clean, and we had this lunch thing with my grandparents because my great-aunt is in town. Anyway, so I did that. That night we had SSTTR rehearsal. Katie's brother was there to replace Sebi, and he was pretty damn good. Afterwards Kate and Katie and I TRIED to go to a Scary Movie 3 with Hannah R and Sebi, but we got food in Old Town first, and by the time we got there, not only had the movie been playing for half an hour, but it was sold out, too. So we went up to the Mall and did nothing until the movie ended. Then Kate and Katie got a ride with Hannah, and Sebi and I took the metro. Boring.

I'd be far more inclined to record my days if they were interesting. Or at least if they had climactic endings.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 12:41     
11.01.2003
no subject
I am so arrogant and presumptuous and flakey.

This cryptic self-beration bruoght to you by the knowledge that people read this thing.

On a less personal note, my life since Thursday: Halloween, STTR, movie FAILIURE. More tomorrow.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 23:05     

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