d a r k s i d e

GRRR! NOW IT'S MESSED UP AGAIN!

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Oh, it's working now. YAY!

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WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?!?!?!

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DAMMIT! I lost my template. Grrr. Oh, well, this one is cool.

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HELLO! Are you happy, Alex? Ok. I'm in Tech Ed with nothing to report. Unfortunately, this is a phase where, if anything post-worthy is happening, you either already know, or aren't supposed to. Sorry.

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Just ask me what's wrong.

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WOOO! This weekend kicked an unpecedented amount of ass. So--NO! We begin on Friday. Friday started out like any normal school day. I got up late and had to run to catch the bus. BUT it was weird, because at no time that day did I feel like sleeping in school. It was cool. So. The protest. I FINALLY skipped spanish, which I had been wanting to do for a while, but didn't have the guts, to go to the protest. It was cool. I had a sign that said "fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity," and everyone laughed at it, and one of my fellow, milder protesters said that we didn't want cursing, so I flipped it so it said something about learing to spell. Anyway, so after school, I came home, and did stuff, and slept. Oh, the FUCKYFUCKYFUCKY was me having sharp mood swings for no percepitble reason. Yeah. Then yesterday I went to Aikido for the first time in several weeks. It was GOOOOD. We learned the beginings of a cool new Jo kata. So I waited after Aikido for my dad, for like, 30 minutes, then went back inside to call him, thinking maybe he had forgot me (shut up, Vanessa), but when I called, Jenny said that my mom and dad had gone to the rally thing, and if I wanted to go, they would pick me up, but if I didn't I was on my own. Well, I was on my own. So, I walked to Alex's. He couldn't hang out. So I walked to Jeff's. He had homework, but could hang out later. So I went home, and stopped at Will's on the way. He was busy ditching me for Tess again, so I REALLY went home. Did stuff. WOW. This is where the drama starts. So, it was my mom's friend Zoe's birthday, and so Zoe, my mom's sister, my mom's cousin, and my mom were all gonna go out. But of couse, 75% of those people had small children. And GUESS who volunteered to take care of them without thinking about it first. That's right, my sister. NO, ME, DUMBASS! I was stuck taking care of 5 little children under the age of 10, not all of which got together very well. Meanwhile, Alex had called and invited Jeff and I to come sleep over, and like any sane person, Jeff decided to go, instead of coming and helping me to my DOOM. So I was facing a night alone with 5 spawn of hell. HOWEVER, my dad volunteered to stay home and help me, so I reasoned with him that if he was here, why did I have to stay? He said that he might need my help, cuz all the kids were trying to beat eachother up, but if things calmed down, I could leave, but had to be back by 11:30. I tried to get him to let me sleep over, but alas, no such luck. Anyway, things calmed down. I left. I walked softly, carrying a large stick, the 1.5 mile route to Alex's. Jeff was already there, and we invited Morgan over, and we got food from Golden Star. Morgan had a big arguement/bonding with Alix Haber, and we did a bunch of other stuff which exists as a very fun blur in my mind (no, we did NOT smoke pot). I called my dad a couple times, to try to reason with him, but he wouldn't budge. So 11:30 rolls around, and I call my dad so he knows to come pick me up. He tells me that noone is home yet, and he won't be able to come til around one, so I should just stay there. He was not happy about this, cuz he said he didn't want to hae to worry about another thing (picking me up to go to WES) in the morning, and that's why he didn't want me staying in the first place. But, his evil plot was foiled by wonderful, blessed fate. Yay! So we hung out some more, more blurry fun, somewhere in there I got a huge amount of those little packs of sweettarts from Alex, and began to eat them. We slept. We got up. I went to WES. My dad dropped me back at Alex's, cuz we were gonna go into Old Town to meet Morgan, Nora, Danny, Lizzi, and ANNA, who is back from Choate for a week for spring break. So, Alex and I went and met up with Morgan at her house, and found a fuzzy purple hat on the way to Old Town. We kept it. We went to CVS, and got mints and shit. Somehow events transpired to me wanting an apple at Polly Sue's, so I went out to the farmer's market, and got an apple that ended up being REALLY bad, so we went down to the park, and I hurled it at the street with all my mighty might, and it hit with a resounding ::THUCK::. But then I got chastised by an old guy. But it was worth it. I also counted all my empty sweettart wrappers, and I got 69, which comes out to 207 SWEETTARTS!!!! So. Then. Yeah. IT WAS SO FUN!!!! And it was great to see Anna again. And it was only like 2 degrees below my PERFECT temperature. Ahhhh. Were there a heaven, it would be like today, but everyday. Actually, it worries me, cuz I believe that everything evens out, so somewhere, someone has just had a really depressing and stressful weekend, either that, or I'm gonna die tomorrow. Well, if I do, know that I love you all. But I'm not gonna die. So, yeah. GASP! INTERIMS!!! MY PARENTS THINK I'M COMPLETELY CAUGHT UP!!!! THAT is the sucky thing coming my way. Ah, well. Just gonna have to be extra vigilant about checking the mail. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna have my own mini-Lent. I'm gonna give up computer, bass, and staying up late this week to get caught up, and then I'll have a big post late next Friday. If you see a post on here, or see me online not talking about homework before then, get up in my face, "why the FUCK aren't you doing your homework?" I need it. Well, I'm gonna go pack as much fun into the few remaining hours before my mini-Lent as possible. FUCK YOUR GOD!

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FUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKY
FUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKY
FUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKYFUCKY
More tomorrow.

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Holy schitt. All that happened? Wow. I will never do drugs. My mind is scattered enough without the effects of marijuana. Tomorrow, there is a protest in school. On the same day the Secretary of Homeland Security is visiting our school. I think it's funny, because, this dude is coming to a school where a majority of the students think that his ideas are bad ones. My aunt, Lia, and my cousins, Solomon and Mountain got here today. It kinda bothered me, cuz they kept interrupting my bass playing. If you read this, PLEASE tell me, because this is my life here, and I just need to know that SOMEONE is hearing what I have to say. Lunch was weird today. I was kinda flirting with Nessa, and I got the feeling that she was too, but I know she couldn't be... But it gives mr hope where it is good to have none. It feels EXACTLY like right before we started going out, so I feel like the obvious thing to come next is us going out. But I know I shouldn't, but deep down in a place I can't control, I still think that she likes me, and is just sorting out her life, that in a few months, that she'll come back "hey Zack, what are you doing this saturday?" Arg. So, I think I will conclude with some wise words from our ever-helpful musical buddies, Tool.

i am too
connected to you
to slip away
fade away.
days away i
still feel you:
touching me,
changing me,
and considerately killing me.

Spiral out.

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Here I am in Tech Ed again. We gave us a whole period for a test that only took half an hour. So I get to wait 33 minutes for the bell to ring so I can escape. Ah, well. Nothing has hppened that was interseting or important today. OH! I met Katie Frank. But only for like, 3 seconds, cuz the bell rang and I had to go to class. So yeah. Hmmm... I didn't get to talk to Anuja. Oh, well. I actually did my History homework, so I am cool today. So far 4 people have finished the test. I wish it would stop raining. I want it to be a perfect, 60 degree day, and I would go on the bus with Jeff and Nessa and all them. Eeyorgh. But it wont be, it'll wet, squishy, and lukewarm. I am SO sick of this winter. I need it to be June, NOW! I will use my powers. ::snap:: Now it's June, dammit. Why? Cuz I said so. More people are done. I HATE crowded computer rooms. Especially dry stuffy ones. And this is one of those. Only seven minutes have passed. If I keep writing, I could type 4 times this much. But I won't.

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Have you ever really loved a person, and that person was doing something to hurt themselves? But then they don't listen, and the result is that you go through your day with nothing else on your mind, unable to function in anyway that does not help you find ways to solve the problem. Well, that's my life right now. So, you know who you are, STOP IT NOW!

A long time ago, last year in 8th grade, I was in a chatroom with Kevin Finn, and his friend was there. She was an interesting person, so I kept her screen name, and talked to her occasionally. However, I got a new screenname, and with out my knowledge of the "send buddy list" feature, her name was lost and forgotten. Recently, my name ogt warned to 100%, so I temporarily switched back to my old name, and there she was. I asked if she remembered me, but got an away message leading me to a new screen name. She was there, so I started a conversation that led to us talking about school. Remember, at this point, I still thought she went to some school out there, like at Einstien with Kevin. But when I asked, she said she went to BLAIR! I was amazed. I inquired further, and discovered that not only did she go to Blair, but she is in MY GRADE. I told her my name. She realized that a couple days ago, she was at Lizzi's house, tormenting, over IM, a person of the same name [it was me]. And I hadn't spoken to this person in months, but had unwittingly seen her everyday since september. Pretty fuckin cool, huh? And this is none other than ther [in]famous Katie Frank. We meet tomorrow during A lunch. EXCITING ADVENTURE! Woohoo.

Not only that, but I'm actually posting on the same day all this happened. Life just gets better and better...or worse and worse.

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In the honor of the book, the speaker for deceased, this post is in the Portuguese. Today... It was resistant. The desperation is an bad thing. It does not have no feeling of worse of the one than this combination the regret and the desperation that I feel right now. But this is approved, me will start on it. I age reading all blog, and all life is thus much more interesting of that mine. Poetical E. Special Alex. Well, I assume that he is because he is in the love. He curses it. What he wants that. I am going to beat "I translate" the keyboard key now.

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Na honra do livro, o altofalante para os mortos, este borne está no português. Hoje... Era resistente. O desespero é uma coisa má. Não há nenhum sentimento de mais mau do que esta combinação o pesar e o desespero que eu sinto direito agora. Mas isso é aprovado, mim começará sobre ele. Eu era leitura todos blog, e todos vida é assim muito mais interessante do que meus. E poético. Especial Alex. Bem, eu suponho que é porque está no amor. Amaldiçoe-o. O que quer que. Eu estou indo bater "traduzo" a tecla agora.

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Folloing in the footprints of my supercool sister, I will write a post in the google translator, translate it, then translate it back. It will be very cool.

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Dammit, Zack, why don't you ever go to bed when I tell you?

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Also, for reasons that are currently unclear in my mind, my parents have banned me from the computer until Friday, so if I don't post for a while, don't worry, I'm not dead, just opressed.

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If you have ever been to my house, you would understand why a clean basement might raise the level of my bass playing abilities.

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I got a new IM to fill the void in my life (which doesn't really exist [the void, that is, not the IM]). It IS - {thehivemind666}, minus the brackets. Pretty fuckin cool, huh? And I'm having a strange spurt of extreme aptitude on my bass. I suspect it is caused by good feng shui from all the chi that is flowing about my newly clean basement. REJOICE!

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When you are posting more than 3 times per day, and your blog isn't brand new, then you know you have no life. As in, all you did today was clean your house, play bass, and be on the computer. Which is what I did. So. There you go.

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...

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I had everyone warn me to 100% on IM. It's very annoying after a while. And I listened to Undertow, Aenima, and Lateralus, and all the videos right in a row. That's 4:26:14 of straight TOOL. I have no life.

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When you see posts, check the time that i posted at, cuz if it's before 6, i'm talking completly about the day before. For example, you see 3.2.2003, but it still feels like 3.1.2003, so that's how I'm talking.

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And I could have gone to the intensive if I weren't such a DUMBASS. (don't be cruel, man)

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Hiya. Went to band practice. It was good. Nothing else happened today... I think lack of sleep is making me sick.

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I feel better. YAY! Band practice in 3 hours! ACK! But I'm totally missing the Aikido Intensive, cuz i woke up really late cuz i was sick last night. I feel so bad. And it's gonna be really tough to tell Mr. Cuffy, cuz he's scary, and I value his respect, which I think will be lessened by this. But ok. ... Huh? Ok, I think I'm done.

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