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life and death and music
There's never enough time for anything. For example, there are so many experiences I want to have, so many things I want to learn, but only 4 years of high school. And there are requirements and stuff that get in the way of doing what I want. I want to play bass for jazz band and take photography and take an art class that's more than just arts and crafts and take music theory and learn Latin and there's just no SPACE anywhere. And I HATE school anyway. Sometimes. Because there are moments of great triumph but those moments are often lost in the sea of pointless drudgery we are drowned in EVERY DAY in this building. I know this has been said before, but how much of this do we REALLY need to know? RIGHT NOW, I am sitting in a "class" surfing the web. I did this last class too. And the class before. So every couple of days I waste an hour and a half that will never come back. Maybe I should be home schooled, at least then I could move at my own pace, which is apparently considerably faster than most other peoples. Also, if I were home-schooled, my mentor-type person would me MR. SMITH! Yes, that Mr. Smith. How cool would that be? But my whole life is here, which is sad. There are so many people here that I would probably never see again if I left. And I really want the experience of graduating. Agh, and college will probably tear most of us away from each other anyway. WHY? IT'S NOT FAIR! Like I said before, everything is homework's fault. Blah, blah, blah...
Why are you reading this?
I said something about this at the end of a post a while ago, but I forgot to expand on it. At Bruno's party, like 3 weeks ago, we were talking about suicide, and I had an interesting thought. If you really think about it, the best way to assure that you have a good life is not to have one at all, that is, to die. If you use pure logic, the only asnwer is suicide: life is painful with little respite, you will not get what you want most of the time, and you die in the end anyway. Fortunately (is it?) most people don't use logic. Humans are genetically programmed to fight for their lives to the very last. Maybe people who are suicidal are just uber-logical. But that's usually not the case. Usually it's "AHHHHH LIFE SUCKS GET ME OUT", not, "I've thought this through, and I think the best choice is to kill myself." Or is it? I really don't know, I'm not suicidal, and I have never really had dealings with anyone who is. Not enough to know their motives. Another thing is, no one knows what happens when you die. I mean, what happens to your...soul? The part of you that knows and feels things. I'm a very scientific thinker, so I believe that there must be a physical representation, a soul organ. Somewhere, there is a part of us that IS that. I have a hard time believing there isn't. But maybe there isn't. That leaves a whole slew of possibilities for what happens after death. I think my favorite version of that is reincarnation. Because unlike the Christian view of heaven and hell, it doesn't call for some reigning deity. Well, whatever, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, which I hope will be a long time from now. I wonder how long I'll keep this blog...

Anyway, back to earth. IMPORTANT MESSAGE: if I told you about the show Eris (my band, if you didn't know) is in on Friday at 7, I LIED. Or rather, it was postponed AGAIN, now to February 27th, maybe. More info later. One thing you can be sure of, this means more practice time, which means better rocking! Which we can definitely do. WE had a practice Tuesday and played ALL our songs (there are only three but this is a big accomplishment for us.), and the were good, but a little rough, but now with an extra month and a half to bring it together, we will DOMINATE. Well, I guess that's all for now.

I hate homework.
posted by Xaq Rothman at 08:53     


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