d a r k s i d e

It always amazes me when I look back over this site just how much I write. I write more stuff on here then I ever would for school, or even for fun. I don't know why. I used to have a little journal, to record all my interesting thoughts except that 1) my thoughts aren't interesting and 2) I lost the book. That's one reason I like blogging, the internet stays right where it is, you can always find it. And it's waterproof. I envy poets. I just don't have a poetic mind, I've never like, been inspired, I have to sit down and think, ok, poem time, and then I write, but I never like what I write. And I know you're supposed to just let the words flow, but my words flow in sentences and paragraphs, and not even particularly good or clever ones. And lyrics, I can't write lyrics. I mean, I can, anyone can, but I just sound like every other whiney teenager. I hate that. I hate being just how everyone expects me to be, especially if it's not really a desirable way to be anyway. Who wants to be all angsty and hormone-ridden all the time? No one, but everyone is. And it's sure as hell hard to rise above. But I try. I try to keep thinking logically, keep my wits about me, do what's right, but it gets hard. Hard to stay proactive. The best music (and we all know what THAT is) is affirmative. It's positive, it's not all depressed, it's active instead of complainy. No one wants to hear about how your girlfriend dumped you, or you hate your mom, or your job sucks (So stop reading this blog. [Wait, I don't have a girlfriend to dump me, I don't hate my mom, and I am utterly unemployed. So nevermind, read on.]). What IS interesting are emotions and thoughts and epiphanies, none of which, unfortunately, I have. My emotions and thoughts are the same as everyone else's, and as for epiphanies, well, no. Fortunately, bass is a form of expression that doesn't call for a disposition towards linguistic acrobatics.

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