d a r k s i d e
w e l c o m e t o t h e m a c h i n e
posted by Xaq Rothman at
Here is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen:
You know. I had a great idea for the movies. No-one wants to fucking hear it, I don't know why. I was watching Terminator 2 and I'm thinking to myself, these are the most amazing stunts I have ever seen. A hundred million dollars it cost to make this film. How are they ever gonna top these stunts in a movie again? There's no way. Unless...
they start using terminally ill people...
Hear me out...
...as stuntmen in pictures.
Okay not the most popular idea ever, but I prefaced it with that. What you know, some of will probably think that's cruel, don't you? "Ooh cruel, terminally ill stuntpeople Bill. How cruel."
You know what I think what cruel is? Leaving your loved ones to die in some sterile hospital room surrounded by strangers. Fuck that! Put 'em in the movies! Whaaat? Do you want your grandmother dying like a little bird in some hospital room? Her translucent skin so thin you can see her last heartbeat work its way down her blue veins?
Or do you want her to meet Chuck Norris?
Why be so selfish as to deprive her of that thrill?
"Tom how come you dressed my grandmother up as a mugger?"
"Shut up and get off the set. Action! Push her towards Chuck."
Whurf. [Bill does a flying karate kick]
"Wow he kicked her head right off her body! Did you see that? Did you see my grammie? She's out of her misery. I just saw the greatest fucking movie of my life. Cool!"
Okay not the most popular idea ever. All I'm saying is people are dying every day, and movies are getting more and more boring.
If you wanna read the rest go here
. It's fucking hilarious, you gotta see it. (Tool fans may recognize a quote or two...)